Cap'n Brainz

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Ahoy all ye pirates! 

me moniker be Cap'n Brainz 'n I be th' master 'o these wee bugs also known as me crew, th' Crazies. Someone by th' moniker 'o th' Other Mother seems to think she owns me, but a cap'n can't be owned!! Right?!?! Right?!?! 

We sail th' seven seas on a ship called th' Prairies in Edmonton, Alberta Canada. Ok ok so we dont sail th' seven seas, 'tis more 'o a pool. Ok ok ye got me, 'tis a rubbermaid container in th' back yard 'o a kookoo bananas family.

Not long ago thar was a mutiny on th' Prairies...  

Seems me crew, th' Crazies, think thar be more to life then 'tis beautiful rubbermaid among uncut grass. th' want to spy wit' ye eye th' seven seas ye spy wit' ye eye. I told them they were kookoo bananas, but they just nodded their head till their brains fell on th' deck 'n didn't spit shine before they all left fer a ship called th' Geocache. Since I don't spit shine 'n I be lonely without me crazies, I thought I would find a ship 'o me own to prove them wrong. 

I dont be knowin' whats out thar, but I be hopin' ye gunna help me wit' that 'n take me many places 'n take pictures fer me crew to spy wit' ye eye cuz they gunna never believe their cap'n left th' Prairies. Here be ye warnin', don't keep th' cap'n or th' crew fer extra long or we gunna start to get famished 'n ye probably be knowin' what we like to put grub in me gullet!

...BRAINZ 

Translation:

Hello everyone!

My name is Captain Brainz and I am the master of these little bugs aka my crew 'The Crazies'. Someone by the name of 'The Other Mother' seems to think she owns me, but a Capt'n can't be owned!! Right?!?! Right?!?!  

We sail the seven seas on a ship called 'The Prairies' in Edmonton, Alberta Canada. Ok ok so we dont sail the seven seas, it's more of a pool. Ok ok you got me, it's a rubbermaid in the back yard of a crazy family. 

Not long ago there was a mutiny on 'The Prairies'...  

'The Crazies think there is more to life then this beautiful rubbermaid in uncut grass. They want to see the world, you see. I told them they were crazy, but they just nodded their heads till their brains fell out on to the deck. They didn't clean before they all left for a ship called The Geocache. Since I don't clean and I'm lonely without my crazies, I thought I would find a Geochache ship of my own.

I dont know what's out there, but I am hoping you can help me with that by taking me to many places and taking pictures for my crew to see cuz they will never believe the Cap'n left 'The Prairies'.

Here is your warning, don't keep the captain, or the crew, for very long or we will start to get hungry. You probably already know what we like to eat!

...BRAINZ