Mortimer wishes to make a check in.
I was minding my own business enjoying some R&R for a few days in my home. What a boring home, I say, shoved between an alien, and a staple remover (OUCH that hurt), but if you think this was bad you should have heard what the army soldier has to say in the basement about his roommates, that is, below 5 layers things like me! So I counted being on floor 4 of 5 lucky. This was soon to change when my savior came.
Now this guy that picked me up has no manners. How rude I say! From the moment he woke me up late at night when I was fast asleep I was constantly tortured. First he picked me up by my tail. Then I wondered, why must they brand me with this tag? Every time someone tries to examine it they scrape my left side with metal inducing new wound marks while making older scabs worse! Ouch! Soon enough I was abruptly tossed on a pouch for a while and bounced around. Just as I started wishing I had one of these garmets to keep me warm on these nights, I had to listen to noises resembling hunger. As condolences to my concerns I kept reminding myself that hunting season was over.
Just when I thought matters were as bad as could be things took a torn to the good. By now I was tired, and let me tell you, trying to sleep while my master walks around causing earthquakes every step is not pleasant. Try it some time. These torturous times ended when my master arrived home. He treated me well to a nice bed. This is as comfortable as I ever have been. He had this rectangular bed with a handle and wheels he tossed me in. It looks like I'm not the only one sleeping here. Man, I'm thinking, the person below me has soft and comfortable fur. Then I noticed something, wait, he has a name tag. It says his name is Levi's, but I've never seen such a two legged creature without a head! I called his name several times with no response; I even poked him with my leg. Maybe he's fast asleep already, who knows. Soon enough my owner closes my container and turns out the lights. This is followed by the sound I recognized as a zipper. Tonight, my destiny is unknown, and the only clue I saw was a label on my sleeping container. It said BOI followed by CHI