Myrtle Mystery Cache
Kneel More: Containers keep coming up missing. Time to retire the ol' gal.
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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(small)
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NOT AT POSTED COORDS
Myrtle was my mother's name but she went by Gert (Myrtle Gertrude) Well, as you can guess, she was teased quite a bit as a kid and she heard them all. Myrtle the Turtle, Birdy Myrty, "Dirty" Gerty, and many others.
Will you figure out the actual coordinates from these few sentences? No. No secret message or encrypted letters. I'm just playing "Dirty". If you want this cache, you'll have to look for it. You can park pretty close to the coordinates given and you'll be within a couple hundred feet of the cache. The only "barrier" you have is the one that keeps you from drowning in self pity. You can arrive there and ask for a "sign" from God but I doubt you'll get one from him. Don't "end" your search with a DNF but keep looking so you can "post" the find.
Maybe my hints and clues are vague because the area has a lot of hiding spots but don't cry me a river in some email begging for a clue.
There's no GeoChecker because there are no coordinates to figure out from these paragraphs. Just go find it and then return it EXACTLY as you found it.
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Qba'g whzc va