"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
- John Howard Payne (1822)
The aim of this series is to identify and highlight some of those habitations which stand out from their neighbours for whatever reason, be it architectural, historical, environmental; or maybe because they're unusual, opulant, luxurious, quirky, or just plain outrageous in design or setting. If it's the sort of residence which catches the eye and makes you wonder about the lives and motivations of the builders, owners or occupants, then it's a contender for this series. Undoubtedly, many other cachers will have their own pet examples of the above which they've spotted during their travels and, if so, I invite them to add their own entries to this series – I'd really love to check them out.
McMansion
"Melbourne's household growth – and by that I mean dwellings – is twice the population growth. Our increasing affluence has led to bigger houses, and I'm sure you're familiar with the description McMansions, and one of my favourites, 'housing obesity'."
- Justin Madden, Victorian Planning Minister (2007)
The subject of this cache is probably not exactly what Justin Madden (who, incidentally, lives in a large, two-storey, heritage-protected home) had in mind when he made his infamous gybe at building styles in some of the new housing developments, but I couldn't resist the allusion.
This second entry in the series is in sharp contrast to the first; in fact, it was this contrast which made me think of starting a series based on homes. At the time, I was marvelling at how a dozen people could squeeze into the three tiny rooms of Schwerkolt's Cottage, when I remembered having marvelled at this place some time ago for quite the opposite reason. It's quite an attractive dwelling, but doesn't have any remarkable architectural qualities; I can remember poking around in one end of it just before it was completed 17-18 yrs ago, so it certainly doesn't have much history; in fact, the one thing that distinguishes it from its neighbours, in an area redolent of wealth, good taste and large homes, is its sheer size — it's just so damn BIG!
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Just a simple little cottage in the suburbs ?
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The logistics associated with living in something this size surely raises some interesting questions —
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Does the butler have a golf buggy to travel the 170m from the front door to the gate to collect the mail ?
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How many days rations do you supply the kids with if they're playing hide-and-seek ?
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Do you equip the pets with epirbs ?
Interestingly, there doesn't appear to be either a swimming pool or a tennis court on the property, which is rather unusual for this area, where many homes have both, although I've got a suspicion that the "wing" at the rear may contain an indoor pool.
Curious as to its approximate size, I grabbed a GoogleEarth image of the immediate area, loaded it into OziExplorer and calibrated it using my two waypoint co-ordinates. I was then able to use Ozi to get some approximate measurements of the beast! I estimate it to be 85m long by 18m wide, with the "wing" at the rear adding a further 22x25m, giving it a total footprint of around 2000m2; however most of the structure is on two levels, which would make it a house of around 400 squares all up (and it would be no surprise if it has basement areas too)!
So there it sits on its hilltop, like some latter-day, real-life Gormenghast, with its sprawling wings and spacious grounds - and I can't help wondering if it houses some tragic Titus Groan living out his lonely existence lost amongst its many rooms and corridors.
PS I hadn't been up close to it for some time before scoping it out for this cache, and was quite prepared to find a brass plate by the front gates proclaiming it to be the "Moldavian Embassy" or something similar but, to all extents, it appears to be a private dwelling.
The Cache
The posted co-ordinates should have you at the front gates, which are set in a high, white-painted masonry wall. If you cruise past slowly, you should be able to get the required information without even needing to stop; the streets around here are surprisingly narrow, but I guess you don't need kerb-side parking when everyone has such long driveways and such extensive off-street parking 
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A. How many of the pillars in the wall have lights on top of them?
B. How many pillars are there in the section of wall to the left of the gates ?
The cache may be found at the following coordinates
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S 37° 47.0(Ax2)3 |
E 145° 11.(Bx5-A)B |
It's only a few hundred metres away, but you may need to check the Melway or GPSr maps to find the best way to access it. It's a 1 litre Sistema and should be an easy find.
Good luck!
(Cache updated 9/11/19)